
In January, I found myself back on the nursery run but this time I wasn’t dropping off my baby but my 17-year-old, now embarking on her early years and childcare apprenticeship. Every morning, as I pulled up outside, I saw busy, tired parents rushing to work, babies and toddlers in tow. It took me right back.
Seventeen years ago, I was one of them—dropping her off at 8am, then driving to Oxford to face a day of sometimes challenging stakeholders, back-to-back meetings—all while trying to find the time for my own work, with the pressure building, mostly within myself.
Looking back, I now can see a clear pattern: In pressured and demanding jobs, high achievers often end up in reactive mode for most of the day, spending their days responding to others, solving problems, and keeping up with endless demands. It feels productive—after all, we’re getting things done. But there’s a cost.
When we spend most of our time reacting, we risk losing something essential: Our inner drive, our ability to concentrate and focus deeply, our creativity, innovation, and even long-term productivity.
If your days often feel like a constant cycle of reacting—jumping from one meeting to the next, answering emails, solving problems before moving straight onto the next—you’re not alone. It’s the reality for so many high achievers and professionals. But you can do something about it. By understanding what Neuroscience, Psychology, and Philosophy reveal about reactive vs. proactive work modes, you can start your own personal rebalance. Let me take you on a journey to better understand what’s happening in your mind and body, and share some practical tools to help you step out of constant firefighting, create more space for focus and creativity, and build the kind of productivity that works for you, not just everyone else.
Introduction
Picture this: It's early morning, and before you’ve even got up, you're already checking emails on your phone ed. After a rushed school drop-off, you dive straight into a series of back-to-back meetings. Each one brings new challenges, often with difficult stakeholders, and you find yourself constantly ready for conflict. By the end of the day, you're not just drained; you're completely exhausted, with no energy left for home. Just when you think the day is over, you realize there’s still a pile of work waiting for you – and your loved ones who need your love and attention, just as much as work does.
Neuroscience: How our brain responds
The neuroscience of reactive working explains how our brains respond to immediate demands and stressors. When we’re in reactive mode, the limbic system—also known as the Chimp Brain (Dr Steve Peters, The Chimp Paradox)—takes over. It triggers the ‘fight or flight’ response, flooding our system with cortisol and adrenaline to help us react quickly. This response is helpful in short bursts, but when we stay in this mode for too long, chronic stress sets in, impairing decision-making, emotional regulation and overall wellbeing.
In contrast, proactive working engages the prefrontal cortex, or what Peters calls the Human Brain—the centre of planning, decision-making, and self-control. When we operate from this mode, we anticipate challenges, think more clearly, and manage our emotions rather than simply reacting to external pressures.
This shift from reactive to proactive thinking is also at the heart of Positive Intelligence (Shirzad Chamine). He describes ‘saboteurs’ as negative thought patterns that activate the limbic system, reinforcing stress and reactivity. On the other hand, activating our ‘sage’ brain—our inner wisdom—engages the prefrontal cortex, allowing us to approach challenges with clarity, calm, and resilience.
By strengthening our sage brain and quieting our saboteurs, we move toward a more balanced, proactive way of working, reducing stress and enhancing creativity, focus, and productivity. This aligns with the neuroscience of engaging the prefrontal cortex and supports a more balanced, resilient, and positive approach to challenges.
Psychology: The impact on our mindset and behaviours
Why do some people feel in control of their workload while others constantly feel overwhelmed? The answer often lies in how we approach challenges—whether we react to what’s happening around us or take charge and shape what happens next.
The Trap of Reactive Working
If you’re always putting out fires—jumping from one urgent task to the next, responding to emails before you’ve even had your first coffee, or dealing with last-minute demands—you’re in reactive mode. It can feel productive, even necessary, but over time, it leaves you feeling on edge, drained, and struggling to focus on what really matters. Instead of directing your time and energy, you’re constantly responding to external pressures, making it harder to set priorities or feel a real sense of progress.
The Power of Proactive Working
Now imagine starting your day with clarity and purpose—knowing what truly matters, setting your own agenda, and making space for deep, meaningful work. That’s the power of proactive working—where you take the lead, anticipate challenges, and create the conditions for success rather than just reacting to events as they unfold.
It’s not about doing more—it’s about doing the right things at the right time. When we work proactively, we regain a sense of control, confidence, and energy, and we stop feeling like our time is dictated by everyone else’s demands.
Carl Rogers, the founder of Person-Centred Counselling, believed we all have an innate drive toward growth and self-actualization—our ability to become the best version of ourselves. This idea connects deeply with how we work. When we operate proactively, we’re driven by internal motivation, setting our own goals and making decisions that align with what we value. We create a sense of agency, knowing that we are actively shaping our lives rather than just responding to what’s thrown at us.
On the other hand, when we’re in reactive mode, we often seek external validation—responding to pressure, meeting expectations, firefighting to keep up. Over time, this can leave us feeling stuck, dissatisfied, and emotionally drained, because we’re constantly reacting to others rather than following our own sense of purpose.
Philosophy: How proactive working strengthens our sense of purpose
At a deeper level, proactive working aligns with a sense of purpose and fulfilment. When we take a proactive approach, we're more in tune with our values and what deeply matters to us. This deeper connection to our goals and values can lead to a greater sense of alignment and harmony in our lives.
When we're proactive, we feel a sense of empowerment and control over our actions, which can bring a deeper sense of peace and satisfaction. This alignment allows us to feel more connected to ourselves and our purpose, fostering a sense of inner harmony.
On the other hand, reactive working can lead to a feeling of being disconnected from our true selves and our deeper values. When we’re always in reactive mode, it’s harder to experience a sense of purpose or fulfilment, because we’re too caught up in meeting expectations to step back and ask: Is this what I want?
By embracing a proactive mindset, we can cultivate a deeper connection to our values and purpose, leading to a more meaningful and fulfilling life – on our own terms.
Tools and techniques: Shifting from Reactive to Proactive Mode
So, how do we move away from the cycle of reactivity? It starts with small, intentional changes—setting boundaries, creating space for deep work, and consciously shifting from reacting to leading.
When you cultivate a proactive mindset, you take back control—not just of your workload, but of your energy, focus, and well-being. It’s not about pushing harder or working longer, but about working smarter—in a way that serves you as much as those you do the work for.
Everyone's journey towards becoming more proactive is unique, and it's important to find what works best for you. Instead of trying to implement all these strategies at once, consider choosing just one that resonate with you and focus on practising this for a week. This allows you to gradually build your awareness and create lasting changes, empowering you to take control of your mindset and actions in a way that feels authentic and sustainable.
Here is what you could do to increase awareness of your reactive and proactive modes:
Pause and reflect: Regularly take a moment, no more than just 1 minute, during the day to pause and check in with yourself. Ask yourself whether you are reacting to immediate demands or proactively addressing your priorities. This simple act of reflection can help you become more aware of your mindset and take action to feel more in control again.
Set intentions: At the start of each day, set clear intentions for what you want to achieve. This can help you stay focused on your priorities and reduce the likelihood of being pulled into a reactive mode. You may like to adopt the 1-3-5 rule (1 Big Task, a high-priority, impactful task, 3 Medium Tasks important but not as demanding, and 5 Small Tasks, quick or minor tasks that still need attention).
Avoid multitasking: Focus on one task at a time rather than trying to juggle multiple things at once. Multitasking can lead to a reactive mindset, while focusing on one task can help you stay proactive and mindful. How could you move from needing notifications to alert (and distract) you to finding regular times in the day to check them? Could you finish each meeting five minutes early to check your emails and reprioritise? Could you block out time and make your colleagues aware that you’re unavailable for half an hour? Find what works for you, communicate it and stick with it.
Practice meditation: Engage in mindfulness practices, such as meditation or deep breathing exercises, to help you stay present and aware of your thoughts and emotions. Several studies have shown that just 10 mins of meditation a day has been shown to reduce depression, anxiety and improves your wellbeing and mental health.
Reflect on your day: At the end of each day, take a few minutes to reflect on how you spent your time. Consider whether you were more reactive or proactive, and think about what you can do differently tomorrow to stay more proactive.
Create boundaries: Set boundaries around your time and energy to prevent yourself from being constantly pulled into reactive mode. This might include setting a specific times you’d like to leave for home or switch off, how many meetings you attend in a day, or how you spend your lunch time.
If you've picked one strategy to focus on, consider writing it down and committing to practicing it for a whole week. It might feel challenging or awkward at first, but as you practice, you'll likely become more comfortable with it. What can you do to remind you of this intention every day? Check in with yourself regularly—if not daily, then at least at the end of the week—to reflect on your progress you're building new habits and finding what works best for you. This process of reflection and adjustment will help you develop a more proactive mindset and create lasting change in your approach to work and life.
Proactive working isn’t about doing more—it’s about doing what matters. If you’re ready to make that shift, I’d love to help. Let’s connect—tell me about what you find most challenging about your job, and we can explore how I may be able to help.
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