Four years in: What I’ve learned about leadership (and myself)

Celebrating four years as a coaching practitioner

Today, four years ago, I took the step to start charging for something I had been doing in my spare time, working with people in the evening and weekend hours to learn a new skill of listening, asking the right questions and supporting people through life’s challenges. By introducing a fee and no longer doing it for free, I marked a quiet but important shift, from student to practitioner. With that, the earliest seed of Working Life was planted.

Four years on, I’m incredibly grateful to still be here. It hasn’t always been easy, but the learning has been rich. I continue to feel a deep sense of privilege in working with some of the most talented leaders in the world.

As I updated my coaching CPD log yesterday, it turned out that I also have reached another milestone: I’ve now delivered over 700 hours of coaching to leaders, individuals, and people seeking meaningful change in their lives — across 20 countries.

So today, I thought I’d share some of my insights I’ve gather from those conversations with you.

1. Leadership is hard.

Even the best leaders in the world encounter things that they find difficult, every day. Most of the leaders I have worked with are high performers: They have often been among the best, they have immense skill and capability, high (emotional) intelligence, and don’t give up. But, their roles are demanding, the speed of their decision making is fast and they are under immense pressure – from those around them, or from their own inner drive and ambition – to deliver and succeed. Leadership is hard.

2. The best leaders are still learning.

They’re not trying to be the smartest in the room. They’re listening, curious, willing to unlearn. They know that they are resourceful and good at what they do, but they also appreciate how they got there: By learning, listening, always seeking the next idea or latest discovery. Growth isn’t something they did once, it’s how they live, and how they lead.

3. The hardest part is often relational.

It’s not the strategy, the systems, or even the pressure. It’s the people. Leading others, influencing with or without hierarchical power, navigating disagreement, offering feedback, performance management and managing expectations. Holding difficult conversations with both passion and restraint. These are the moments that stretch even the most seasoned professionals. And so often leaders carry the emotional weight of their roles in silence, they do not have the confidants around them to share how hard they find these things; trying to do the right thing without alienating others, or sacrificing themselves. The relational complexity of leadership is where the most growth, and the most courage, often lies.

4. The second-hardest thing is often the not doing of things.

I’ve worked with so many brilliant people who find it difficult to pause, to stop working, to take a break, whether it’s during the day to reflect and think about things deeply, or at the end of the day to switch off and return to life’s other priorities. The best leaders take time to reflect, to pause, to come back to themselves and refocus their energy. They take time to take the right decisions and to look after themselves – their mental and physical health. They know that knowing when to pause is part of what makes them great leaders. In that context, making space to pause becomes an act of leadership in itself.

5. Meaningful actions matter.

The challenges that truly shape us aren’t easy, but they’re meaningful. The most powerful work I’ve done with people hasn’t been about finding the right answers; it’s been about seeking them. Seeking perspective, meaning, and seeing the bigger picture. Taking a step away from the day-to-day to ask, ‘What do I bring to this?’, ‘What value am I adding?’, ‘Where will this lead us, and me?’ is where meaning emerges and leadership thrives. And that includes facing into our individual limitations with time, energy, health, communication, and sometimes, suffering. We live in a world where suffering is seen as undesirable, yet, when we suffer, our drive to find meaning becomes more urgent and important.

Viktor Frankl wrote:

“We give life meaning through our actions, but also through loving and, finally, through suffering… in all of this [people] still remain capable of fulfilling human values.”

So, how can we suffer and grow? I often think of this. Because the leaders who inspire me most aren’t defined by their titles, they’re the ones who remain open, even when things are hard. Who keep choosing to grow, even when the path is unclear. Who stay human, in systems that often reward disconnection and busy-ness.

A quiet celebration

So, today, I’m not marking this four-year anniversary with a fanfare, but with quiet reflection and an offer: all 45-minute sessions in May are just £65 – to mark this milestone and the launch of New Perspectives. Just a quiet thank you: to the people who trust me, and to the work itself, which continues to evolve.

I’m looking forward to the next period of growth, taking a new perspective again – and it’s not a coincidence that I’ve launched New Perspectives this week. For those busy people who rarely get time to think, but long for something more spacious, more intentional, perhaps New Perspectives offers a small pause.

Thanks for reading. And thank you, if you’ve been part of my journey in any way – I look forward to continuing our work together.